Happy Valentine’s Day!

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3 Responses to “Happy Valentine’s Day!”


  1. 1 Smome' February 14, 2012 at 5:53 pm

    I do have an “ours baby” and he is the greatest joy of my life! I have so many feelings surrounding this topic that I will truncate them by simply saying that I am currently going through a transition in my thinking about “family”. I worked so hard for 16 years as a custodial stepmother to include my stepdaughters (22, 26, 30) in my vision of “family” that when I finally, last year, accepted/learned that stepfamily dynamics are quite different than first families, it was a very emotional trek to view my family (i.e. my husband, our son, and myself) as “The Family” and all 6 of us are “The Stepfamily”. I am embracing my family and understand that I am a successful stepmother because although I don’t have the biological bond with the girls, we do share holidays, events and life together and they have a good relationship with their father – I am so grateful to God for that blessing. Long story….but I have a question. I want to to find out more about the affects of stepfamily life on an ours baby and am having trouble finding research. Like with stepmother research, a lot of it is from the perspective of everyone but us, and the “ours baby” reference is how it affects the stepchildren. I want to write my story and gather information from other women with ours babies to do my own informal research…this topic frightens me because I don’t want to hear that it adversely affects our babies even though my son (14) is the light of our lives and very well adjusted. Thanks for letting me share…

    • 2 Step Parenting with Grace February 14, 2012 at 9:57 pm

      Thank you for sharing your comment. I agree with you on this subject – I have not seen much research on the effects of an “ours” baby. However, I would venture to say an “ours” baby is raised closely to one in a traditional home because both of the biological parents are raising him/her. However, there will be some effects from stepchildren if they are close in age and live in the home also. You may have to simply gather information from other families you find with an “ours” baby to do your story. Good luck! Keep me posted!

      • 3 Smome' February 14, 2012 at 10:25 pm

        Comforting thoughts…one day I will have the courage to ask him how/if having half-siblings in the home affected him (although we never referred to the children as halves). I don’t want to stir up issues that wouldn’t have existed had I not asked the question! Anyway…thanks for responding so quickly and I will keep you posted on my “research”.


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