It’s easy to set a marriage on autopilot and make little effort toward a dynamic relationship. One day you wake up and realize your marriage has headed down mediocre lane. With the complexities of stepfamily life, mediocrity can lead to divorce from unresolved issues and complex circumstances.
In a remarriage with children, it’s not uncommon for the primary focus of the home to shift from a couple relationship to a kid-centered relationship, particularly during the early years. When there are ongoing challenges with stepchildren, the couple relationship gets lost in the forest, causing the stability of the stepfamily to suffer.
If we want a dynamic marital relationship, we must determine we will not settle for mediocrity. It requires intentional effort on our part to develop and nurture a healthy marital relationship, but it’s worth the effort.
In her book, Stepmonster, Dr. Wednesday Martin gives sobering statistics on the divorce rate for remarrieds. “Divorce researcher E. Mavis Hetherington suggests that the divorce rate may be as high as 65 percent for remarriages in which one partner has children from a previous union, and a sobering 70 percent when both partners bring their own children to the picture.”
Dr. Martin outlines several factors that create complexities within stepfamily life. She then emphasizes the necessity of prioritizing your relationship. “With the cards stacked against it, your marriage needs more than mere tending. Battered by issues and dynamics not found in a first union, yours will not survive unless it is given special priority by both you and your husband.
Remarriage requires ongoing, intentional effort to resist mediocrity and achieve dynamic relationships. Rearing children who are not your own takes an exhausting toll on your marriage. Will you commit to the challenge of putting your marriage first and teaming up for success in a committed relationship?
Have you settled for mediocrity in your marital relationship? What steps will you take to prioritize your marriage?