Managing Your Holiday Schedule – Define Your Date to Celebrate

Many blended families are beginning to make visitation schedules for the holidays and I hear co-parents grumbling about the stress of making it work. I love what Heather Hetchler shared in our e-book, “Thriving at the Holidays: A Stepparent’s Guide to Success,” about her Thanksgiving routine.

“In my family, we have all the kids every other year for Thanksgiving. On the years when my four children are with their father, we make a special Thanksgiving breakfast before they go. We make turkey shaped pancakes and decorate with a chocolate chip eyeball, turkey bacon feathers and maple syrup for dressing.

In addition, when they return home on Saturday, we have a Thanksgiving celebration ‘Peanuts’ style. We watch ‘A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving’ while snacking on toast, popcorn, and jelly beans.”

Holidays don’t have to be on a certain date to be meaningful. If we get hung up on wanting things our way, including always celebrating on Thanksgiving day or Christmas day, we will end up with  a tension-filled holiday.

The important thing to remember is the celebration of being together with loved ones and offering thanks for our relationships and the blessings God freely offers us.

Here’s another suggestion from our e-book about creating a meaningful and peaceful holiday, even if the kids aren’t with you on the actual date:

“You can always tuck a small gift and/or note in your stepkids’ belongings when they head back to their other home. Mark it to be opened on the actual holiday. While they won’t be with you and their parent, they’ll have something from both of you to open that day.”

The holiday season has enough stress of its own without adding an inflexible attiutude surrounding the schedule. Commit to creating a peaceful holiday season this year – your kids will thank you for it.

Are you comfortable with defining your date to celebrate other than the actual holiday? If you have done this in the past, will you share your experience?

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Thankful – In Good Times and Bad

“I have a lesion on my kidney. The doctors are running more tests today. Please pray for me.”

“My friend’s 2-year-old daughter has just been diagonsed with a malignant brain tumor. Please pray for them.”

These are words I’ve heard this week from friends. Difficult circumstances. Uncertain times. Anxious moments.

How do we continue to be thankful during hard times? I must admit there have been times this past year that I haven’t felt thankful.

I wasn’t thankful when my husband lost his job. I wasn’t thankful when I learned we had to re-locate for a new job. (although I was thankful for the job!). And I have struggled to be thankful in a new town when three of our children now live four hours away.

But God tells us to be thankful in all things. “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” I Thess 5:16-18

Did you notice the Scripture says to pray continually before we can give thanks? I think that’s the key – stay in an attitude of prayer.

A devotional I read this week by Dr. Fred Lowery said, “The Bible says, ‘Devote yourselves to prayer, keeping alert in it with an attitude of thanksgiving.’ Only when you’ve spent time in God’s presence and drawn strength from him, will you be equal to the challenges you face on any given day.”

Only when we’ve allowed God to penetrate our heart and our mind can we be thankful when our circumstances don’t appear worthy of thanksgiving.

So, what are you thankful for today? I’m thankful for a new writing opportunity God gave me that resulted in my first e-book! The e-book, Thriving at the Holidays: A Stepparent’s Guide to Success,” is currently available on Amazon and will be available on Apple and Barnes and Nobles shortly.

I hope you’ll check it out and tell me what you think.

Are you feeling thankful today? Will you share with us what you’re thankful for? 

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Count Your Blessings

Count Your Blessings

“When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God hath done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.”                  Count Your Blessings by Johnson Oatman

I used to sing this hymn to my two babies after my divorce, when I was learning how to parent alone. Life was hard and I didn’t know what was around the corner, but I refused to allow my circumstances to keep me from recognizing God’s blessings in my life.

My girls are now 18 and 21 years old but they remember me singing this old hymn as I rocked them to sleep, and are familiar with its special meaning to me.

I still count my blessings every day. Today I’m thankful for the opportunity I had to counsel my 25-year-old stepdaughter about a difficult circumstance at work. I’m thankful my college-age student dropped by to say hello and share what’s happening in her life this week. I’m thankful I was able to stay home with my 10-year-old son yesterday when he woke up with 101 fever and a horrible-sounding cough.

But I’m especially thankful this week for a new job God has provided for my husband. If you read my blog often, you will remember my recent post on The Valley of the Unknown.  Thankfully, we didn’t have to wander long in the valley of unemployment. My husband secured a new job last week and is excited to begin his new journey April 4th.

However, the job is in another state, forcing us to quickly begin the relocation process. My husband will go before us to begin employment while the kids and I stay behind to sell the house, finish the school year, etc. It creates a stressful situation, but one in which I will remember to count my blessings.

We’re thankful for the new location because it lands us closer to our home state of Texas, where our oldest daughter resides in addition to a great deal of extended family. As we move from Arkansas to Louisiana, we leave three kids behind to finish college, but we’re thankful we can see them within a four hour car ride. It will be a significant change for all of us, but we know God is in control and trust His guidance, while we count our blessings.

Life presents challenging circumstances almost every day. As a stepparent, it’s easy to lose sight of the good things happening around us because we’re consumed with the negative. But if we remember to count our blessings, we will see God’s goodness in the midst of difficulty.

Have you counted your blessings today?

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Friday’s Fav Scripture – "My Grace is Sufficient for You"

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:9,10)

I don’t know about you, but I often feel weak and inadequate in my parenting and stepparenting role. I love this Scripture because it speaks of the Apostle Paul’s need for Christ’s power to rest on him and supply the grace and strength he needs.

I can relate. I cannot adequately perform my role as a wife, mother, and stepmother without Christ’s help. I’m thankful for His willingness to walk this path with me.

As we move toward the week of Thanksgiving, I want to offer thanks for the unending grace, strength and power I can access.

What about you? Do you need to recognize Christ’s strength or grace today?

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Being Thankful for Stepchildren

I’ll never forget the counselor’s words when my  husband and I began seeing a therapist at the beginning of our marriage. “You might consider it a privilege to take part in parenting your stepchildren. Could you consider that?” What??? Was he listening to my pleas for help? No, I couldn’t consider what he was asking. 

As we move toward the Thanksgiving holiday, it’s a great time to count our blessings and offer thanksgiving. In the early years of our marriage, I would have never given thanks for my stepchildren. But, 15 years later, I can say, “I’m thankful for my stepchildren, and the part I’ve played as their stepparent.”

My stepchildren have taught me patience and perseverance during painful periods. I’ve been forced to build a character of steel and skin as thick as mud to make it through tough times. But I’ve learned I can endure almost anything and come out successfuly on the other side, with God’s help.

My stepchildren have taught me that family isn’t always blood-related. I can learn to love my stepchildren like my own. I can offer Christ-like forgiveness even when they don’t deserve it. And I can be proud of earning love and respect from my them, in spite of my stepparenting blunders.

Stepparenting isn’t easy, but it offers the opportunity to make a difference in a child’s life. Will you embrace that privilege?

Are you thankful for your stepchildren? Will you share why you’re thankful for them?

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